Losing/failing is a bitter pill to swallow and not many survive it. Failure has a way of making one think all is completely lost but in truth, failure is simply a blank cheque to try again DIFFERENTLY.
Starting over doesn’t come easy either. Be it starting over your career, a new relationship or just getting out of a rut. Starting over takes determination and grit, it takes a conscious effort to realize that you’ve been down far too long and it’s about time you get your grind back on.
As a growing child, I grew up watching Disney and strongly believing in life is a fairytale with a few losses and many wins. I have seen a bit of life and had my own shares of woes, ( Hello Disney, you played us!) There’s no lalaland or fairytale castle, prince charmings don’t always come to our rescue and the one that hurts most, “happy endings are rare”.
Now, at 23, I’ve learnt that “sometimes life knocks you down” but just as Keri sings, “just get back up, when it knocks you down”
Truly, there are no recipes for starting over, absolutely none. No right or wrong way because we all function differently. However, there are a few tips when implemented help aid starting over.
These tips aren’t engraved in the sands of time, so can be made flexible, you just got to figure out what applies best to you and tap into them.
What Does Starting Over Mean?
Starting over is a broad term and it has various meanings; all dependent on the context where it’s being used. Albeit, starting over in this post means to begin again, to try again and to push on.
Starting over doesn’t mean you have to wipe clean your slates. No, whatever happened before you made the decision to start over are all part and parcels of your life’s journey. Most people never get to start over because they are blinded by the belief that to start over they must first erase all traces of past failures.
Why is Starting Over Important?
Starting afresh is a necessary way to truly heal from your past and begin again. Starting over gives you a second chance; another shot at getting it right.
Failures are part of life, remember the saying shit happens. Sometimes, when things go bad, it isn’t because there’s no other way around it. If you doubt me, ask Edison why he started over, 999 times before his last attempt proved fruitful.
Who Can Start Over
You have probably been asking who can start over? the answer is anyone can! Starting over isn’t a limited resource. Starting over is for everyone but the ability to start over lies in your hands. Changes only happen when you put in the effort to make them happen.
Top Tips for Starting Over and Controlling Your Life
Find Closure
So your previous attempt at living your best life failed? You hold yourself responsible and then spend meaningful time eschewing over what could have been and what could have been not. You replay past occurrences a thousand times ever. You mop over every wrong decision and miscalculated step.
The first step on starting over is to make peace with yourself. Start by finding closure- accept that it has happened and no matter how many times you relive it, there’s no turning back the hands of time to make your life right. You’ve only got one way to take charge of your life and that’s to leave the past and move on to future prospects.
Truly, our pasts live with you forever, but the trick is to ensure those pasts aren’t hindering you from your future.
To start over and take charge of your life, you must find closure. So you can begin anew, free from hindrances.
Pick Out Lessons
Now you have made peace and found closure with your past, it’s time to move on. To make a solid decision, you need to learn from your past.
Start by objectively analysing the actions you took that brought you to that point. Did you end up in jail because you trusted a friend way too much and the said friend used that loop to set you up? or was it a bad financial decision you made, that rendered your business bankrupt? whatever it was, you have got to figure it out.
Mistakes are easy to come by and when starting over, you want to ensure you know the pitfalls to avoid.
But just knowing isn’t enough, you must pick out the lessons and learn from them. Like knowing to not easily trust people or speaking with business consultants and your financial managers before making a big financial commitment for your business. etc
Write down whatever made you fail previously, paste it in a place where you are prone to seeing daily.
Related: https://www.giftcollins.com/always-big-dreams-no-actions/
Decide Changes to Make
What changes do you wish to see as you start over? Figure them out first before you begin your starting afresh journey. this serves to ensure you are certain and intentional about the progress you want.
I believe in radical change, I am of the school of thought that changes don’t happen without you taking action as fast as possible.
While some others have the school of thought of changes are slow and steady.
Figure out whatever works best for you and apply it.
Set Goals
Goals are important if you truly want to take charge of your life.
Start by setting S.M.A.R.T. goals;
- Specific- Be specific with your goals.
- Measurable- Your goals should be measurable, you need to know if you are actually fulfilling your goals in the long run.
- Achievable- Let your goals be attainable. Some people set ambiguous goals which they are unable to meet up to. Always ensure your goals are realistic.
- Relevant- Make your goals relevant to your ambitions.
- Time-based- goals aren’t meant to last forever, so time your goals. It can range from 2 weeks to 20 years. It all depends on you and the magnitude of the goals.
An example of a smart goal for starting over as a law student who failed law school should look like this; the goal is to study hard for the next three months in preparation for my bar exams that will qualify me to become a Lawyer.
The above goal is relevant, specific, achievable, measurable and has a time frame.
Work! Work! Work!
People say actions speak louder than words, I say actions speak louder than convictions and plans. A lot of people are constantly caught in the web of planning and they never get around to actually doing.
To start over, you must let your actions speak louder than your words and planning.
Stay positive
The road when starting over might be bumpy, but don’t let it dampen your zeal to take charge of your life. Try to stay positive always, by practising positive affirmations and gratitude. Also by listening to your favourite podcasts, reading blogs on self-development or read some inspirational books.
Whatever you do, just don’t give up too soon!
Avoid Pitfalls
Life knocked you down once and it can still knock you down again. It’s up to you to avoid the pitfalls you faced before and use the lessons learnt from past occurrence to forge on strongly and safely.
You’ve have come so far! Great job!
Don’t hold back today from starting over your education, career or business. we’ve only got one life but we’ve got several shots at getting our lives right, So why stop after only one or two trials. Keep moving!
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Gift Collins is an ingenious creative. She loves to put her polished thoughts into words and pictures to create beautiful stories. She is a media girl-in and out.
An experienced Filmmaker, Scriptwriter and Blogger. She also has skills and experience in social media management.
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